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Friday 22 January 2016

This Just Has To Be Said Part Two

Ths will mean nothing to you if you didn't read part one I published on Christmas Day, so if you missed it click here.

So the ship set sail Wednesday morning. 29 days after being told he had 3 or 4 days at the most my Dad departed this life. It was peaceful and quiet at the end, which says nothing of the immense fight he put up, which had the experts scratching their heads as to why he was still here. But this is not so much about Dad, or even those he has left behind, but the extraordinary care, kindness and love shown by the doctors and nurses at the William Harvey Hospital in Ashford. I said in part one how they took to Dad, and that continued and grew. Monday morning Mum walked into Dad's side room to find one of the young nurses holding Dad's hand, stroking his forehead and talking quietly to him - just as Mum had been doing for the last few weeks. Tuesday night there was always a nurse with him, and although we got there a bit too late another nurse was holding his hand when he took his final breath.

Doctors and nurses are tough people - if you're dealing with the kind of things they do you have to be. The cardiac ward sees a lot of people, and a lot of deaths. You harden up to that sort of thing or it goes home with you and you never get it out of your head. I lost count at the number of nurses, male and female who shed tears this week. People who see people dying and distraught relatives day in day out were crying at the fight Dad put up, that he never complained, in fact he had to be convinced he was in need of pain relief most of the time, and the kindness and love of these people was such we now regard them as family. Even today, 48 hours later when we had to go back to the ward to get some paperwork signed there were hugs and more tears from staff we didn't see Wednesday. We may have lost a dad and husband, but my word we have gained friends and seen a side to humanity it is all too easy to forget exists.

And so I want to do something, both in Dad's memory, and for those wonderful people at the William Harvey. I normally go on a trip in May and this year I have decided to do a sponsored circum-navigation of Great Britain by bus - local bus as much as I can. What I am raising money for will be decided nearer the time, but certainly some comfortable chairs for relatives sitting at bedsides overnight is needed - we sat for 18 hours Monday into Tuesday on the only seats in existence harder than Anglian Scanias or First B7l's. There is never too much equipment in a hospital but equally these days there is never enough money to get it.

I'm going to be here in Kent for a bit yet, although I will be popping back up for a couple of pre-arranged appointments, one of which I'm quite excited about. In the meantime I'll finally have time to do what I wanted to do down here, and there is a lot to be interested in I can tell you.

Once again many thanks to all of you who have sent messages of condolence and support - I'm truly blessed with a great circle of mates.

6 comments:

  1. Proud of those NHS employees

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  2. My apologies but due to a dickhead I've had to temporarily suspend Anonymous comments. Hope to rescind the suspension soon.

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  3. Terrific idea. For all of us, the hospital, you deserve it,and your readers!

    NHS staff are wonderful. But we can make their jobs easier, or harder, and that's a lot to do with it, too. So your loving family need to take a fair share of the credit. I spent three weeks in a cardiac unit last year (fortunately in totally the opposite circumstances to your dad). The absolute determination of all of them to get me sorted, not matter what, was simply breathtaking. It meant putting up with me when they didn't need to (and that took some patience I can tell you). But they gave me no trouble. I'm sure it wasn't the same the other way around! Back to normal, I owe them everything.

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    1. Glad it worked out for you Smurf, and even better you know exactly what I'm talking about. A lot gets put in perspective and maybe the odd rattle doesn't matter so much now.

      Glad you like the idea and I must confess I realised that the planning involved would keep my mind well and truly occupied instead of wandering and brooding on things. You're right, it could be win win all round!

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  4. Condolences Steve And i admire the way you have put yourself over in this matter. it must be painful to say the least.

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    1. Many thanks, Brian. I have to say having this outlet has been brilliant for me, not for the sympathy, wonderful though that has been, but just somewhere to get things off my chest and let the world know what incredible people there are out there.

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